Each `Shimshi' is as precious and valuable as every other
child and it is up to teachers and parents alike to help him
reach his own potential...
What is Best For Shimshi?
Comments by A. Ross, M. Ed.
Reading Rabbi Zobin's short article [Parshas Behar] on trying
to fit a square peg into a round hole brings to mind the
numerous children who have been brought to me for assessment
and tutoring. Most of them need a few months of intensive
coaching, by which time they are well up to the standard of
the class.
However, there are some `Shimshi's who do not fit into the
particular school which their parents have chosen for them.
Many years ago, I tutored ('crammed' they called it in those
days) a boy to get him into a prestigious fee-paying grammar
school. I felt it was wrong for the boy, as did my
colleagues. He passed the entrance exam and was accepted at
the school, but became a failure. It was not the right school
for him. Occasionally, when it is one of these schools which
is known for its high standard and for pressuring the
children to achieve/maintain this standard, parents realize
that they have made a mistake and they will agree to remove
the child and send him to a different school.
That is fine when we are speaking about an average child with
a good working brain. But what about the child who is
borderline, whose parents just will not face up to the fact?
When a child is born with Down's syndrome, for instance,
parents accept the limitations and try to help the child to
achieve his maximum potential. But often, the first signs of
academic inadequacy are noted in pre-school or Grade One.
Parents are advised to get extra help, either for reading or
speech. Some time later, they are advised to keep the child
back for another year, to do the same grade twice. If a child
is immature, that may be very good advice. If the child
simply cannot understand what is being taught, staying back
will not help him. He will still be the slowest in the
class.
There is no straight answer to this question. Some time ago,
I advised a couple to let their child attend a school for
children with special needs. The parents refused, stubbornly
and persistently. They claimed that with the right help, he
would be able to hold his own in a regular school which did
not make many demands on its students.
This boy has been coming to me for three years now, during
school hours, one hour a day, six days a week. He learned to
read, although he does not understand what he reads. He has
learned to count and do simple addition and subtraction,
although he finds abstract problems difficult. He can
translate Chumash by rote but does not understand the
story behind the translation. He is almost ten now and feels
good about himself. He is not bright enough to realize that
he is right behind the rest of the class and that the gap is
widening steadily.
With hindsight, his parents were right and I was wrong. They
have not pressured him; they are letting him develop at his
own pace, and he did not go to a `special' school. His mother
does his homework for him, when it is within her grasp, and
as far as I can see, he will continue in this way for years
to come. Not all schools would tolerate boys like that in
their classrooms, and not all boys (or girls) are so
`borderline' that they are unaware of the situation.
The challenge for parents of little `Shimshi's is to find the
right educational establishment which will not stigmatize
them -- the parents -- and will let their child develop at
his own pace. Unfortunately, there is the danger that the
child will be allowed to stagnate. Teachers might ignore him
if they know he doesn't understand anyway. That is soul-
destroying for the child and teaches him to be lazy, too.
[Ed. Then, again he may suddenly have a rude awakening that
he is not suited, scholastically or socially!]
Each `Shimshi' is as precious and valuable as every other
child and it is up to teachers and parents alike to help him
reach his own potential, but not to push him beyond his
limits. Not everyone is born to be a gaon.
