"Look at Mr. Ploni. He's so frum! He keeps so many
chumros! I wish I could be as frum as he
is."
"Mr. Almoni has such a nice minhog. I think I will
take it on as well."
There are people who go around looking for extra
chumros and minhogim. They feel that
frumkeit comprises loading up themselves and their
children with as many `extras' as possible.
The gemora discusses someone who picks and chooses
from the conflicting decisions of Beis Hillel and Beis
Shammai. It calls someone who chooses the leniencies of both,
a wicked person. Regarding someone who picks the stringencies
of both, the gemora quotes an unusual phrase, "A fool
walks in darkness."
A fool does not know what he is doing even in daylight. In
darkness, even a wise person does not know where he is going.
So the gemora regards someone who picks the
stringencies of Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai as someone who
"does not know what he is doing and does not know where he is
going."
Of course, as a person develops in his knowledge, he needs to
improve his religious observance. The mishna in
Ovos stresses that one's actions need to exceed one's
knowlege in order for his observance to remain stable.
However, raising one's standard of observance does not
necessarily imply amassing more minhogim or
chumros.
Whatever the group, be it Ashkenazim or Sefardim, Chassidim
or Yemenites, or any of their valid sub-groups, under the
guidance of their respective Torah leaders, each strive to
attain the highest possible standards of religious
observance.
Some people try to make themselves into Super-Jews by
selecting what they feel is the `best' from each group. But,
of course, it doesn't work that way. Imagine trying to create
a super-safe economy car by combining the body of a tank with
the engine of a small saloon car - it just doesn't work.
Each group has developed its parameters of halocha and
minhogim so that they form a delicate interwoven
lifestyle which will enable each member to fulfill his/her
mission in this life. Changing any of the parameters can
unbalance the system and cause serious damage. Parents might
enjoy the thrill and challenge of exotic behavior, but their
children might find them meaningless, illogical and
burdensome.
Not all minhogim and chumros are compatible
with each other. And, in the final analysis, the need for
them does not depend on likes or dislikes but on what is
required for the person's service of Hashem.
Overextending can lead to top-heavy families which are
expending their energies on minor issues while their home
lives are wracked with tension and major failings in basic
observances.
People who want to grow and develop in their religious
observance, either as individuals or as the heads of family,
need to establish an ongoing connection with a competent
authority who can guide them in their growth. Then their
growth will be stable, balanced and fulfill the blessing of
"For all Your ways are ways of pleasantness."
