Maybe if I hadn't had that small operation, I wouldn't have
noticed. Just like thousands before me . . .
Recently we celebrated the bar mitzvah of our youngest
son Binyomin besho'oh tovah umutzlachas, some days
after surgery on a finger of my right hand. It was still
quite painful and with stitches still intact, required
extreme care.
People who knew, shook my hand carefully when wishing me
mazel tov, but those who didn't or had forgotten were
quite insulted when I only proffered three fingers. "Geb a
gantze hant!" they ordered.
The real danger, however, came from followers of the `firm
handshake' school who, not realizing the consequences,
grasped my hand with such an agonizing grip, that even before
musaf I was positive it was already motzei
Shabbos, as I distinctly saw three stars!
Recovering from this experience I mulled over the fact that I
have yet to hear of a source for our tradition of
accompanying every sholom aleichem and mazel
tov with a handshake. Maybe some knowledgeable reader can
enlighten me.
Meanwhile I decided to calculate the number of times I
participated in this mazel tov handshaking ritual --
and the result is quite amazing.
Let's start from the beginning. Binyomin first put on
tefillin a month before his bar mitzvah. All
who heard wished me a hearty mazel tov. Two weeks
later, when I placed an invitation to the forthcoming
simcha on the shul's notice board, many
considered that worthy of a congratulatory handshake.
The night of his bo-bayom, we had a small seuda
for his classmates, family, and a few friends who gave it a
three mazel tov rating: upon arrival, during the meal
and again before leaving.
Next day, friends who heard of this function, called to say
mazel tov.
The bar mitzvah bochur was first oleh leTorah
on Thursday morning which brought on another round of well-
wishing.
Friday night in shul -- the mispallelim noticed
the bar mitzvah boy wearing a hat for the first time --
so it was mazel tovs all around again.
Next morning -- our big day -- upon arrival in shul
many, hoping to avoid the rush later, chap arein an
early mazel tov. However by the time I got called to
the Torah, they absentmindedly do it again! And once more
after the bar mitzvah finishes his Maftir!
Before leaving shul -- a repeat performance just
making sure that I noticed they were there.
Our latest minhag of having a shalosh-seudos
rather than a kiddush, offers further handshaking
opportunities; with the obligatory lechayim and
mazel tov before the speeches, another after the
pshetel and finally after bentchen.
Admittedly, not everyone is makpid on each and every
abovementioned mazel tov, but for mehadrin min
hamehadrin the total approaches 15 handshakes!
Even without surgery, this can sap the energy of any ba'al
simcha!
On the other hand (notice -- this is the first time the other
hand gets a mention), you may say that we should have only
such problems. And of course, you'd be 100% right!
May we celebrate many, many simchas, gezunterheit.
Footnote: Meanwhile, the rav of our shul (Adass
Yisroel, Melbourne), Rabbi A.Z. Beck shlita, to
improve decorum and kovod beis haknesses, has
introduced a rule for aufrufs, requesting
mispallelim to withhold their mazel tov wishes
until after the final Kaddish. This has greatly
reduced the balagan caused by half the shul
rushing to the bima to congratulate the ba'al
simcha.
