Ahhhh... Finally. Shabbos. Candles lit, table set, food all
ready. Time to sit back, close my eyes and relax until the
men and boys return from shul and the serving
starts.
Divine... Shabbos Kodesh.
Ahhhh... First meal finished. Table cleared off. Food all put
away. Children tucked into bed. Time to shluff.
Divine... Shabbos Kodesh.
Early Shabbos morning. Moishele, did you find your Shabbos
shoes? Hurry, or Abba will leave without you... Sarale, be
sure Malky's coat is buttoned and that Rivky keeps her hat
on. Don't disturb the people davening. Gut Shabbos.
Front door closes. Ahhh... Shabbos Peace. Shabbos Quiet.
Shabbos Kodesh.
Second meal finished. Table cleared. Food all put away. Kids
out the door.
Shabbos Peace. One last cup of tea. Now our Shabbos
shluff.
Ahhh... Shabbos Kodesh.
And the children?
Outside, running. Screaming. Jumping. Chasing. Pushing.
Yelling. Climbing low- lying trees, throwing stones at cats,
pulling up flowers. If young enough, more running, jumping,
chasing, pushing. And if a little older, watching cars go by
and yelling "Shabbos", or lying on the grass, talking, and
tearing grass up from the ground absentmindedly. Nothing
really to do. Boredom. Older sisters watching, waiting,
talking, babysitting, talking, laughing, talking. Until time
for seuda shlishis. Then all come home.
SHABBOS KODESH?
Yes, Abba learned and/or worked hard all week and he needs
his shluff. And Ima cooked and cleaned and diapered
all week, and perhaps even went out to another job as well,
and so she also needs her shluff.
But with all this holy shluffing, what is happening to
Shabbos and its beauty and holiness? And, perhaps even more
to the point, how, and how much, is this beauty and holiness
and love of Shabbos Kodesh being passed on to our
children?
True, kids love running and jumping and screaming and chasing
outdoors. But will hours of this pasttime on Shabos instill
in them the warm memories of family togetherness and the
majesty and magic of Shabbos? Will spending hours idly
yapping with girlfriends while babysitting the little ones
provide a deep love and appreciation of the Torah way? Will
all of this strengthen the inner core of our children so that
if, G-d forbid, they ever become exposed to the winds of
Saturday soccer or threatened by Friday night hangouts, they
will have the inner reserves to resist because they have the
memories of beautiful Shabbos afternoons sitting around as a
family, talking together, playing quiet games together,
telling stories and discussing Torah at different levels?
What are we doing to our children? What values are we
teaching them, and what messages are we sending them?
Shabbos Kodesh isn't Shabbos to me without my Shabbos
Shluff. How many times have we heard this refrain? Or
said it ourselves?
To me, Shabbos is eating and clearing away, davening, and
having an afternoon shluff. You go play outside with your
friends, and don't bother me. Watch the little children so
that they'll be alright. Don't disturb me. You handle my
problems/responsibilities. I need my Shabbos Shluff... Just
be sure you're back in time for shalosh seudos.
What message is such an attitude, such words, sending to our
children, and to those standing nearby who hear it? What does
it say about our TRUE attitude toward, and true belief, in
the holiness of the day?
And yet, there is even more. Have you, as a parent concerned
with your children's education, ever noticed what is going on
outside on Shabbos afternoon?
For hours and hours, the children are playing outside.
Unsupervised. Not one adult watching. Alright, so there may
be no traffic, but there is not a person around to comment
that perhaps climbing a tree isn't a Shabbos activity. No
parent in sight to remind running children that their screams
might be disturbing other people. No family bonding except
that of young girls forced into being unpaid babysitters
while they saunter back and forth, gabbing, gabbing, and
gabbing.
Shabbos Kodesh? Where?
Half hour Tehillim sessions? Beautiful. Then, what?
What are we telling and doing to our children? What are we
doing to our families? And the generations to come?
Can you imagine, chas vesholom, sleeping through two
thirds of Yom Kippur? Even if you didn't have any
tshuva to do, it still wouldn't `look good' for the
children in the house to see such a lackadaisical attitude to
such a holy day.
Shabbos is me'ein olom haba - a taste, a piece of the
World to Come. Will our future spiritual world be lacking in
depth and dimension because we neglected to prepare in this
world and slept away our opportunities? Is it such a little
thing that we have been allowed, no, given a chance,
to experience a piece of olom haba? Is it so
inconconsequential that we can sleep it away? And if we do
have to take a nap - by all means! - keep it within narrow
limits and don't loudly and proudly proclaim it.
We talk about feeding our additional neshoma which we
are granted on Shabbos. Are we fooling ourselves with double
talk? Are we feeding it with the food it needs to keep us
going, like a double portion of Torah-talk? Perhaps, most
important of all, are we careful to show our children that we
are talking more Torah than usual? And conversely, that they
are feeding their OWN souls with double-Torah-talk?
Not homework or school study, but with stories of
gedolim, Torah games and quizzes, questions and
answers, and middos puzzlers like "What would you do
if..." or "How could you possibly judge this situation
favorably?" [Ed. This is a fascinating exercise. You could
use "The Other Side of the Coin" as your basic text and then
go on to true life incidents which the children will surely
provide, or can make up as you go along.]
Togetheness. The entire family, sharing, laughing together,
enjoying one another at each age and stage of juvenile
development. Warmth. Happiness. A family on Shabbos Kodesh. A
memory of holiness that will stay with each person wherever
s/he may go and whatever s/he may do in life.
But I need my Shabbos Shluff...
What are we doing to show appreciation of Hashem's Gift to
us?
What are we doing to concepts of, and attitudes towards,
Holiness?
What are we doing to Shabbos?
Tzvia Ehrlich-Klein is author of HAPPY HINTS FOR A
SUCCESSFUL ALIYA (Feldheim) and a CHILDREN'S TREASURY OF
SEPHARDIC TALES (Artscroll) and editor of the anthology TO
DWELL IN THE PALACE, among other books.
