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IN-DEPTH FEATURES A Rebbi for America: HaRav Shmuel
Yaakov Weinberg, zt'l Part II
A Time of Transition
In June of 1945 (5705), R' Yaakov Weinberg wed Chana, the
only daughter of HaRav Yaakov Yitzchok Halevi Ruderman,
zt"l, one of the Alter of Slobodke's star
talmidim, who had founded the Ner Israel Yeshiva in
Baltimore. Only a few weeks later, R' Yaakov's father Rav
Mattis was niftar at the too-young age of 68.
R' Yaakov moved to Baltimore and his father-in-law's yeshiva,
where he spent the rest of his life in harbotzas Torah,
aside from a seven year period in the branch of the
yeshiva in Toronto. His brother R' Noach, who later founded
his own yeshiva Aish Hatorah in Yerushalayim, regarded his
older brother as his rebbi and followed him to
Baltimore.
R' Yaakov continued learning and soon began to say shiurim
in Ner Israel. R' Nachman Kline, a close talmid of
HaRav Ruderman in those days, recalls that the Rosh Yeshiva
told him that he should go to his son-in- law's shiur.
"You will hear things like you never heard before." He told
other people that others make two or three shiurim
from what his son-in-law says in only one
shiur.
During the shiva, the family received a letter from a
woman who lives in an isolated community in St. Mary's
County, Maryland, a two hour drive from Baltimore. The
correspondent was the daughter of someone who heard classes
from Rav Weinberg more than 40 years ago. For seven years the
young Weinberg couple would drive two hours each way to give
classes (both of them) in that isolated Jewish community. The
writer merely wanted to express her gratitude for that effort
so long ago, and to say that there are now three frum
generations as a result of that effort.
In those days the community in St. Mary's County built a
shul. Everyone pitched in and even Rav Weinberg
climbed up to bang in some nails on the roof. He never held
himself above or aloof, but was a part of things with
everyone else.
"The Chabura"
Once Rav Weinberg's son asked his father which were the best
times in his life. Without hesitation he answered the period
of the Chabura in Ner Israel and the years in Toronto.
By any measure, the Chabura was a remarkable phenomenon. A
group of about 18 outstanding young students were selected,
and put together in a special room with a devoted rebbe
to learn and develop. They spent the whole day together,
but separate from the rest of the yeshiva. HaRav Weinberg
said shiurim in Bovo Kama and in Pirkei
Ovos with the commentary of the Chossid Yaavetz. Everyone
who participated remembers it as a time of tremendous,
stimulating growth.
It is evident from a partial list of the talmidim just
how much they grew, for many went on to great achievements of
their own: HaRav Yochanan Zweig (rosh yeshiva in
Miami), HaRav Moshe Hochman (a rosh yeshiva in
Toronto), HaRav Nochum Lansky, HaRav Simcha Soloveitchik, and
HaRav Uziel Milevsky, zt"l. This, again, is only a
partial list.
In 1964 (5724), HaRav Weinberg went to the branch of Yeshivas
Ner Israel that had been established a few years earlier in
Toronto where he served as rosh yeshiva until 1971
(5731).
During that period many talmidim from the main yeshiva
in Baltimore went to Toronto for various periods in order to
learn with the Rosh Yeshiva there. He said many
shiurim including, for a time, a daily shiur in
Chumash in which he went slowly, posuk by
posuk, analyzing and treating everything carefully and
thoroughly. It was a relatively small yeshiva (the high
school was the larger component) and there was an opportunity
for those who wanted to learn from the Rosh Yeshiva to do
so.
After that he returned to Baltimore, as the Toronto yeshiva
became independent. He spent the next 28 years in the Ner
Israel yeshiva in Baltimore, the last 12 of them as rosh
yeshiva after his great father-in-law was niftar
in 1987 (5747).
As the American Torah community developed, the function
mentioned at the beginning of the first part, of linking
those who grew up in America with the living wellsprings of
the Jewish mesora, became less critical because now
there are so many different ways in which everyone is
connected. However, he had much more to give, and in his
whole life he constantly gave more and more to his
talmidim and everyone who came in contact with him.
A Selfless Individual
With his remarkable intellectual gifts, it would have been
easy for him to dominate people. Thus, it is all the more
impressive that no one ever felt that the Rosh Yeshiva was
imposing himself on them even in the slightest way.
The fact is that his whole approach to living was based on a
thoroughgoing and deeply rooted conviction and understanding
that his efforts should be properly directed towards the
outside, towards others. He stressed and lived the fact that
a person's overall goal is to be an eved Hashem, a
human tool of Hashem who lives to fulfill Hashem's will.
Translated to the interpersonal level, this meant that he
lived for his talmidim and was interested only in
their benefit.
He once told a talmid: "You are interested in `why,'
but I am interested only in `what.' "
"Why" did not matter to him. He made himself like a
midbar to simply accept whatever Hashem wants, without
question, without seeking any further basis behind it. Even
to search for a "why" implies that there is some other
standard, some other measure for what to do, and this is
often where a person's self comes in. For him, there was
nothing there.
He was an original thinker and had many ideas, and conceived
many plans. However, once he was convinced that rotzon
Hashem was otherwise, he accepted that and simply worked
with the situation as it was. He no longer harbored any
thoughts of "what if" or "if only." Once it was clear to him
what the rotzon Hashem was in a given situation, he
did it with all his powers and to the fullest of his
abilities.
As one example that was cited by several people, when he came
to their chasuna, he came early and stayed on. No one
doubts that he had other things to do, other pursuits that
might seem to be "higher" or "better" than sitting at a
chasuna. But once it was clear that he was going, he
went to fulfill the rotzon Hashem behidur, not
grudgingly or sparingly.
Very Different
There were some ways in which he was very different from our
generation. He was so abstracted from his physical needs, so
far removed from normal physical desires, that in this aspect
he seemed not of our times.
Once, when giving a shmuess in Mesilas
Yeshorim, he was talking about a certain taava, a
physical desire. He said that it was an absurd taava,
something beyond the desire of normal people. Searching for a
proper analogy, he finally came up with, "It is as absurd as
saying, `He sat down and ate a quart of ice cream by
himself.'"
This certainly caused some raised eyebrows among the
talmidim listening to him. They understood the point
he was trying to make, but the example he chose taught them
more about the Rosh Yeshiva than about the Mesilas
Yeshorim.
He Used to Say...
It is important not only to give a sense of who he was, but
also, in memoriam, to try to give over some of the important
lessons that he taught. Certainly all of his students carry
these ideas with them in everything they do, but this is an
appropriate venue to set them down so that they will be more
widely available. Especially in view of the fact that he left
so few written works, is it important to try to record and
publish some of the valuable insights he taught.
Many of these teachings were so important to him that they
could be prefaced with the introduction of so many
mishnayos of Pirkei Ovos: Hu hoyo omeir . . .
Almost everyone who had significant contact with him has
heard them. Others, however, were not as widely known. All
are nonetheless part of an integrated, consistent, coherent
approach to his life's task of being an eved
Hashem.
Two Stories
There is a story told about Vilna of more than 200 years ago.
In those days it was often difficult to get arba minim
for Succos, which had to be imported over long distances
from other climes.
One year, it was almost impossible to get an esrog in
Vilna. In fact, there was only one. The Vilna Gaon was the
unquestioned godol hador and even he did not have an
esrog for Succos. His talmidim did their best
to secure the esrog for their master. They offered the
possessor of the single Vilna esrog that year large
sums of money -- but he turned them down. He did, however,
make them a counteroffer: He would give the Gaon his
esrog, if the reward for the Gaon's fulfillment of the
mitzvo went to him, instead of to the Gaon!
It was a steep price and a very unusual one. The talmidim
were not sure how their master would react. When they
told him of the price for the esrog, he accepted immediately
and radiated great joy, exclaiming, "Now I will be able to
fulfill this mitzvo completely lishmo!"
Another, similar, story is told about a great Chassidic
Rebbe. One time he announced to his followers that it was
decreed in Heaven that they had, for one reason or another,
lost all chance of any reward in Olom Haboh. The Rebbe
declared his happiness about this state of affairs to all of
his followers, for the reason that henceforth he could
worship Hashem purely lishmo.
The Rosh Yeshiva would explain that he has no historical
information about either of them, but based on the content of
the stories the first is proper and correct, but he could not
accept the second as valid.
Hashem created the world in order to give us reward, he
explained. This is the purpose of His Creation, and this
purpose must be fulfilled. But Kaviyochol had no
particular person in mind when creating the world, and it
makes no difference for His purpose who receives the
sechar. Thus, it serves Hashem's purpose just as well
if the original owner of the esrog receives the reward for a
mitzva as if the Vilna Gaon himself receives the reward.
Nothing is lost; the mitzva is fulfilled and Hashem gives
someone the reward for that mitzva. The Gaon, who was only
concerned with what Hashem wants without any concern for
himself, could properly rejoice that he could do the mitzva
purely lishmo, as long as someone was getting the
reward.
If the reward is lost entirely, if no one gets it as in the
second story, then Hashem's purpose in Creation of giving out
sechar is not brought to fruition. If the reward for
the good deeds is simply lost, then this is occasion for
mourning not rejoicing, since Hashem's purpose has been
frustrated, not fulfilled.
Sechar is Our Relationship
Since the desire to reward us is the basis of Creation, its
nature and procedures are important. The Rosh Yeshiva
insisted that the reward that we get for the good things that
we do is not a "mechanical" sort of built-in response to our
deeds, but rather a reflection of the consequent nature of
our relationship to the Ribono Shel Olom after we have
done what He bid us do.
Some say that the world is simply set up in such a way that
there is an automatic response, in the spiritual realms, to
our deeds. When we do what Hashem wants us to do, we are
showered with the reward for their performance. The Ramban,
however, says that the reward that we get for mitzvos is
really a neiss.
The Rosh Yeshiva taught and explained that when we do
Hashem's will, it enhances our relationship with Him. The
reward that we get comes from this enhanced relationship.
The reward is there, and we must strive toward it. Yet we
strive for it not in order for us to have it, but in order
that the Ribono Shel Olom can give it to us, as we
know that he wishes to do. When the Vilna Gaon fulfilled the
mitzva of arba minim he knew that there was an
attached reward and that Hashem wanted to give this reward.
Yet it was not important to him that he be the recipient of
the reward.
This is a complex idea, but the Rosh Yeshiva once illustrated
it himself beautifully.
For the Sechar or Because of the
Sechar?
A talmid once asked him about the posuk in
parshas Vayeiro (Bereishis 18, 19) in which Hashem
says of Avrohom Ovinu: "For I know of him that he will
command his children and his household after him, that they
will keep the derech Hashem to do tzedokoh and
mishpot in order that Hashem can bring upon Avrohom
all that he has spoken about."
This posuk, the talmid wondered, seems to fly
in the face of the well-known principle that we should serve
Hashem as slaves who work without thought of reward. Hashem
commends Avrohom Ovinu because He knows that Avrohom Ovinu
will send his children along the derech Hashem so that
they will get rewarded. How is that reconciled with the
charge to serve Hashem as an eved who serves without
wanting any reward?
HaRav Weinberg explained it by analogy. He goes to visit his
mother in Williamsburg, and whenever he comes, she insists on
feeding him and obviously takes great pleasure in doing so.
At first he protested. "Mother, why do you insist on serving
me? I've already eaten enough."
"Do you think I want to feed you just because you are my
son?" she asked rhetorically. "Not at all! I want to give you
to eat because you are a talmid chochom!"
"If my mother were only interested in feeding me because I am
her son, then if I have had enough to eat, she would have no
interest in feeding me. It is all the same to her, as long as
if I have enough to eat. However, since she wants to feed me
in order to give pleasure to a talmid chochom, then
she must be the one to feed me. I must eat her
food.
"Since then," he told the talmid, "I make sure to
finish every morsel of food. I am eating because it brings my
mother pleasure for me to eat her food, but I am not eating
for the pleasure of the good food." (Heard from HaRav Eliyohu
Baumwolspiner)
Chazal say that the relationship between parents and children
is analogous to the relationship between people and Hashem,
and that is what we are trying to exploit here. We must serve
Hashem in order that Hashem may give us the reward that He
has promised, but we do not serve for the reward itself but
in order to fulfill the will of Hashem which is that we
receive the reward.
On the Subject of Sechar . . .
In the third perek of Hilchos Teshuvah the
Rambam discusses the fact that everyone has zechiyos
and avonos, and the way these are weighted and counted
against each other, so that an individual and a country and
the whole world are either tzadikim -- if they have
more zechiyos -- or reshoim -- if they have
more avonos.
In the third halocho the Rambam writes: "Whoever
regrets the mitzvos that he did, and waives the
zechiyos and says to himself, `What have I benefited
in that I did them? Would that I had not done them,' has lost
them all, and they do not mention for him any merit in the
world, as it says, `The righteousness of the tzaddik
will not save him on the day of his rish'o'
(Yechezkel 33) -- this must be referring to none other
than one who regrets his earlier actions."
What could this mean? Chazal always say what a great
chiddush it is that teshuvah erases the sin,
but here we apparently see that it applies to mitzvos as
well. Moreover, generally Hakodosh Boruch Hu's
consideration of good deeds is greater than His punishment
for bad deeds (middo tovoh merubo). So how can it be
that simply regretting one's mitzvos will fully cancel them
out?
Consistent with his understanding of sechar as being
of fundamental importance in the Creation, the Rosh Yeshiva
learned here that the Rambam does not mean to say that the
person loses the sechar of his good deeds if he
regrets them, only that in such a case they are not taken
into account when reckoning his status as a tzaddik or
a rosho. The original sechar is preserved for
him and will be given to him in one form or another, but once
he rejects his earlier acts they are no longer included in
the balance of all his deeds.
This is in fact evident from a closer reading of the Rambam.
He writes: ". . . and they do not mention for him any merit .
. ." This "mentioning" refers to the accounting that is done
for each person, to determine whether he is a tzaddik
or a rosho. Also, the posuk refers to "the day
of his rish'o" which is consistent with this
interpretation, meaning the day on which he is judged a
rosho, the day on which an accounting is made of his
zechiyos and avonos, and he is found a
rosho since he loses those zechiyos that he
regrets. (Heard from HaRav Simcha Cook.)
Only the Truth
The Rosh Yeshiva was always focused on the truth, even when
it may not have been the most comfortable way to look at
things. He was prepared to talk and act in ways that often
sounded strange to others, when he knew that his way was the
truth.
One instance was the case of a particular shidduch.
The parents of a girl of marriageable age came to ask him
about a particular young man, and he told them it was a good
shidduch and they should pursue it. Someone from the
side of the bochur came to ask about the same
shidduch, but the Rosh Yeshiva told him that he did
not know if he should pursue that offer.
Those who heard about both answers thought that the
combination was strange, but the answer was simple: it was
clearly good for the young lady, but not so clear that it was
good for the young man. It was not a case of the Rosh Yeshiva
taking a bold stand for truth, but simply that he was
unwilling to answer any other way than to tell each what was
exactly best for him or her.
To Reach the Soul
His goal with his talmidim was not just to impart
knowledge but to elevate them. The truth that he wanted to
give over was much deeper than what many people give over.
At one time, a certain talmid used to go to him to ask
him questions consistently after every shiur that he
gave. He confided in someone that the talmid was very
krum and he thought that he could straighten him out,
but he was not sure if he had the time and strength that were
necessary for the task.
This is not the worry of someone who could not answer the
questions that he was being asked, even to the satisfaction
of the questioner. HaRav Weinberg certainly had no difficulty
in merely answering the surface questions posed by that
bochur. It is clear that his eye was on something
deeper: he wanted to reach out to the talmid and to
correct the roots in him that were leading him to ask such
unnecessary or misguided questions.
Sometimes he volunteered remarks that seemed unprompted and
unmotivated, almost like an oracle. He once told me, "You
know Mordechai, you have to keep on thinking. Don't stop, but
always push on and deeper."
I did not see why he said that. I did not understand what he
could have seen in me that showed him I had such a problem,
if I did in fact have such a problem.
However, I accepted the criticism and worked in the direction
he indicated. Many months later I did see the wisdom of his
remark and how it was excellent and important advice for me --
though I could never figure out how he could have known to
tell me.
What is the Mitzva of Emunah?
The Rambam counts the mitzva of emunah as the first of
the 613 mitzvos. As the Ramban explains, the gemora
seems to imply this in saying that the two mitzvos we heard
from the Ribono Shel Olom (and not Moshe Rabbenu who
told us 611) were Onochi and Lo yihiye. The
Bahag, however, does not count this mitzvo as one of the 613.
The Ramban explains that this is because it is the
presupposition of all mitzvos. How can there be a mitzvo
without a metzave? Thus it cannot be an individual
mitzva by itself.
What does Rambam hold?
The Rosh Yeshiva said that the emunah that is
presupposed by all the mitzvos is not the content of this
mitzva. Rather that emunah is presupposed by this
mitzva as it is by all other mitzvos. This first mitzva
however, is to make our emunah stronger and stronger.
To work on our emunah and to develop it. This is
something that can be done without limit. (Heard from HaRav
Moshe Hochman)
The Rosh Yeshiva in particular worked very hard on the Rambam
in all the halochos in Sefer Maddo among which
the mitzva of emunoh certainly occupies a prominent
position.
Emunoh Temima
He worked on emunoh but it was within Torah and
bederech HaTorah and not relying on any outside
tools.
He once commented to a talmid that there are many
people who are temimusdik in their approach to
emunoh. They simply have emunoh peshuta and do
not ask any questions. They simply are mevateil da'as
to the Ribono Shel Olom. This approach we can
understand.
But someone like the Chazon Ish, he explained, is amazing. He
knew all the questions and worked on them, but still came out
after all that with such a perfect and wholesome
emunoh. This is truly remarkable. (Heard from HaRav
Nochum Lansky)
Stunning Brilliance
Time and again the Rosh Yeshiva would stun us. One could
never know how he would react. One could have prepared a
gemora so carefully, and worked on it so hard, only to
sit on it with him and find out that he missed the main
point. As HaRav Mordechai Blumenfeld put it, no matter how
much you had prepared, "He would show that you hadn't begun
to think about it."
But this did not only apply to divrei Torah. It was
also true in derech eretz. Telling him over the
apparently simplest story could be an adventure. He would
often find some completely overlooked aspect that was
critical, and put the whole thing in a new and surprising
light.
This was a consequence of the fact that his yiro
preceded his chochmah, as Chazal say it must. His
wisdom was based on his fear of G-d, and grounded in everyday
life, where this is important. His chochmah showed him
not just how to think, and not just how to act, but even
simply how to be. He created full, wholesome and "real"
people. (Heard from HaRav Yochanan Zweig)
No, Yitzchok, You're Wrong
One of the most elusive, but significant, elements of the
avoda of the Rosh Yeshiva was his constant, patient
chinuch of his talmidim. It was something he
was always ready to do, and something that he did willingly,
over and over, whenever he had the opportunity. He would
speak with them, elicit their comments, patiently analyze
them, and develop the ideas that he wanted to convey using
them. There was an interplay between the rebbe and the
talmid that was, however, extremely elusive and
difficult to capture. It was not the sort of thing that one
took notes of, nor even recorded on tape.
Nothing can better convey this experience than an example.
However, these were usually personal lessons, tailored to the
talmid in question and the circumstances that were at
hand, and by their very nature they did not lend themselves
to any sort of recording or preservation.
I have, with considerable thought and effort, constructed an
illustrative example. It is an imaginary dialogue in which a
talmid of the Rosh Yeshiva is trying to convey some
basic ideas about his rebbi to a student of his own.
The talmid, in talking with his own talmid,
uses the techniques that he learned and absorbed from his own
rebbi, the Rosh Yeshiva. It is based on a story about
the Rosh Yeshiva that several people who were very close to
him told me, assuming that it happened as given here, and
certain that in any case it reflects the way he acted. This
exercise displays the Rosh Yeshiva and how he lived -- and
what we can learn from him in our own lives. (I will note the
true facts at the end.)
Yitzchok, I want you to think about the
following story. Now listen carefully.
Some years ago, a relative of the Rosh Yeshiva lost a son who
passed away well before his time, leaving behind a young
family ranging from 2 to 10 years old.
The Rosh Yeshiva and the Rebbetzin went to be menacheim
ovel. There were other people there when they arrived.
After sitting for some time, the Rosh Yeshiva rose and said,
"I have some people to talk to," and left the room.
No one knew where he went. He was gone for a considerable
time. Only later did they find out that he had sought out the
little orphans, and taken them to a room where he sat with
them and discussed what had happened to them at their own
level.
Now, Yitzchok, I want you to think carefully about this
story. What do you think it shows?
-- I think that it is a beautiful story that shows that the
Rosh Yeshiva was a man of deep feeling.
If that is what you think, Yitzchok, then you are wrong.
Completely wrong.
If that is what you understand, Yitzchok, then you do not
understand the first thing about the Rosh Yeshiva.
It is so clear, Yitzchok, that this story shows something
entirely different. This incident shows the Rosh Yeshiva's
brilliance.
It shows how he was able to grasp a situation, to see it from
all sides, and to find the key point, that crucial element
that everyone else missed, but that is -- once he showed it
to us -- absolutely essential to a proper understanding of
the situation and, now in retrospect, we feel should have
been obvious to everyone.
Surely you see that, Yitzchok. Obviously the ones most in
need of attention and the gemilus chassodim that is
the very essence of nichum aveilim which was the whole
purpose of the Rosh Yeshiva's trip, were the young orphans.
Yet everyone is naturally distracted because they know the
adults better.
Even hearing about the story we are stunned and impressed.
That is brilliance, Yitzchok, absolute brilliance.
But now, is that all you see in that story, Yitzchok? Don't
you see anything else? Is it just pure brilliance? Is that
all you see here?
It's not enough. Yitzchok, you must go deeper. If you stop
here, you've left the Rebbi in the league of brilliant minds,
but it could still be with thinkers like Aristotle, who were
geniuses but could at the same time be corrupt and
degenerate. If that's where you stop, Yitzchok, you have not
yet captured his essence.
What is remarkable here is the object of Rebbi's brilliance.
It is not an abstract principle that he discovered, in the
realm of pure knowledge, that can be polished and displayed
and repeatedly admired, but it is a truth of life, a truth of
deed, a truth that left the world a better place after it was
discovered.
The Real Story
This story that was told about the Rosh Yeshiva was based on
a similar true event, however in fact the idea of speaking
with the young orphans was not the Rosh Yeshiva's but his
daughters'. They thought about it in advance and arranged it
as soon as he came.
The Rosh Yeshiva went to them in a side room, he made the
children at ease and invited them to ask him whatever was on
their mind. The children were most concerned about their
departed father. Is he happy? they wanted to know.
This was a difficult question. It would obviously pain them
to know that their father was unhappy, but on the other hand
how could he leave them? The Rosh Yeshiva told them that
their father was happy, but he missed them.
This went on for some time. The children asked; the Rosh
Yeshiva comforted and explained.
At the end the young widow, who was present, exclaimed, "I
know it helped the kids, but it helped me more." The young
children later said that the Rosh Yeshiva sat with them with
kindness and patience, and talked about their new situation
and their father.
The truth is certainly beautiful enough.
To Call Out Besheim Hashem
At the Chag Hasemicha the Rosh Yeshiva spoke about the nature
of a yeshiva, based on the Rambam in Hilchos Avodas
Kochovim (1:3). It is the chapter in which the Rambam
recounts the history of the idea of avoda zorah and
the way Avrohom Ovinu developed on his own and recognized the
truth of his Creator at the age of 40. As soon as Avrohom
Ovinu recognized this he started to argue with the people of
his city, Ur Kasdim. He was miraculously saved from the king
there who wanted to kill him, "and he got up and called out
to the whole world loudly to tell them that there is one G-d
for the whole world who should be worshiped." He eventually
reached tens of thousands whom he taught, each according to
his own understanding, and "he implanted in their hearts this
great principle."
Avrohom passed on this task to Yitzchok who in turn passed it
on to Yaakov. "And Yaakov Ovinu taught all of his children,
set Levi aside, and appointed him the head, and set him in a
yeshiva to teach the derech Hashem and to keep the
mitzvos of Avrohom."
This was what the Rosh Yeshiva saw as the purpose of a
yeshiva: to teach the derech Hashem. All must be
brought closer and upward. The staff of the yeshiva must
spread this great idea and implant it deep in the hearts of
the talmidim. Kiruv kerovim, reaching those who need
to be reached, is as important as kiruv rechokim.
This is what a person must dedicate himself to do. To serve
Hashem, by being an eved Hashem and prominently by
calling out to the whole world in general and to each
talmid in particular, to bring him to the derech
Hashem. (Heard from HaRav Nochum Lansky)
Summation
There is certainly much more to say, and perhaps there will
be other occasions. The avodas Hashem of an odom
godol in more than 75 years can certainly not be
contained in 10,000 words. Chaval al de'avdin, velo
mishtakchin.
Tehei nishmoso tzerura betzror hachaim.
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