Gavad Zichron Meir, and rosh yeshivas Chachmei Lublin
This is the first in a series of articles and essays about tznius was first published in print in 1995, 29 years ago.
For Part II of this series on Tznius click here.
We all want to extend honor to Hashem's Name and to His sacred Torah, and to strengthen the foundations of the Torah home, which is the mikdash me'at of our exile, and in whose merit we are alive today. Women and daughters of Israel — women of valor, neshei chayil of whom it is said: "A woman who fears Hashem she shall be praised," (Mishlei 31:30), I wish to bring you Hashem's word and to arouse your deepest sentiments.
Daughters of Israel, in whose hands future generations and future Jewish homes are entrusted! Daughters of Israel, to whom the merit of their husbands' and children's Torah learning also belongs!
The fact that, with Hashem's help, the voice of Torah still resounds in synagogues, houses of learning and even private homes, and the fact that the Torah world, which was destroyed in the terrible Holocaust, has been rebuilt and is flourishing, can be credited only to "the fear of Hashem [which] is pure [and] endures forever" (Tehillim 19:10).
As Dovid Hamelech said: "If there is fear of Hashem (and Torah is inextricably linked to purity and modesty) then it (i.e. the world) endures forever."
Purity and modesty are the factors which insure the eternity of our world and your world — the world of Torah and Torah-true education. If you, the women and daughters of Israel, will properly do this holy work of Hashem, that affects the present and the future, then the merits of the present generation and all the future generations will be yours.
In principle, everything sounds fine [and could easily be carried out], were it not for the trial to which our particular era is subjected, were it not for the terrible battle of the yetzer and all of its ramifications, were it not for the fact that the sitra achra cannot bear it when Torah and sanctity are unmarred in genuine Jewish homes, and thus the yetzer and its retinue shoot deadly darts into our camp.
The yetzer, our eternal foe, is not satisfied to fight us on the battlefields of former generations: the street, the markets, the large cities. In the past, whoever fulfilled the words of the verse, "Come my people, enter into your chambers and shut your door. Hide yourself for a little moment until the fury has passed" (Yeshayahu 26:20), and fulfilled what Shlomo Hamelech said, "I will walk within my house, in the innocence of my heart" (Tehillim 101:2), i.e. who stayed away from the well-known battlegrounds of the yetzer, was spared the fight.
In Egypt, as parshas Bo relates, the blood on the side posts indicated where Jews lived. Hashem said: "I will not suffer the destroyer to come into your houses to smite you" (Shemos 12:23). The blood of the Pesach sacrifice, which was smeared on the doors of the houses of the Jews, protected those who lived inside from the plague.
Later on, when the Torah commanded us to place mezuzas on the door posts of our homes, the men, women and children who lived inside could thus barricade themselves from outside influences. Individuals could prevent alien influences from penetrating their private homes, their mikdash me'at. "Whoever has a mezuza on his door post, tefillin on his hand and his head and tzitzis on his garments, will not sin" Menochos).
But all that was in the past. In our generation, the yetzer hora was annoyed by the fact that only the large cities had theaters and movie houses. Therefore, he made sure that every small city and village would have them too. When he saw that there was a city like Bnei Brak, which still had no theater or cinema, he devised another plan, which enabled every person to bring a private cinema or theater into his own home, in the form of the television, the video, the radio, the smart phone and the indecent newspapers which are the primary causes of the spiritual degeneration of our era.
Even a kosher mezuza, or the voice of Torah emanating from one of the rooms of a house cannot ward off the pernicious influences of the television and the other media.
We see Jewish homes with mezuzas on their door posts which make an outward impression of being Torah observant. Nevertheless, the corruption which corrodes them, and the degeneration taking place inside them, is keenly felt.
The reason is simple. Chazal (in Yoma) comment on the verse "Vezos haTorah asher som Moshe lifnei Bnei Yisroel," saying that the word "som", which in the Torah is written with the letter sin and means "placed," should be read as if it were written with a samech, and means "medication" or "an elixir," for as Chazal have said: "If one is worthy, and if his deeds are good, Torah becomes an elixir of life for him. If not, it becomes an elixir of death."
Trying to Have it Both Ways
Today, we find a strange and painful phenomenon (which, boruch Hashem is not so commonplace). Certain people want to be bnei Torah and modern at the same time. Both the husband and the wife want to lead a life of Torah, and when they marry, the woman, like all other young brides, says: "I want a ben Torah." Later, to our dismay, she readily complies with her husband in his efforts to be modern.
This modernity expresses itself in the pursuit of stylish clothing, short dresses, makeup, excessive jewelry and long and ostentatious wigs which are no different from uncovering the hair. A woman's head covering has to be very modest. But sadly, due to our sins, the wig has become a fashion symbol, in its length and style, for many women and in many homes. A woman who wears such a wig doesn't look like the wife of a ben Torah or like a chareidi woman at all, but rather like a movie actress. She doesn't even look Jewish!
In such a home, the fact that if there is no yir'a there is no chochmah is quickly forgotten. Such people want to sip the elixir of life, but instead consume snakes and scorpions — the elixir of death.
The Rambam and Rabbenu Bachya have already written that, just as fire and water cannot coexist in the same vessel, so is it impossible to combine Torah and a lack of tsnius in the same house.
No One May Watch TV.
To our dismay, the picture is still incomplete, because one sin leads to another, and one who is drawn after the attire and makeup of the street (such as forbidden eye makeup and forbidden lip makeup), will also be drawn after its overall degenerate atmosphere. Eventually this causes one to take an active interest in the street's media — the television, the radio, etc. — and then finally in the whole spirit of the street, for, as Chazal have said, there is no more powerful yetzer hora, "sha'anei minus demashchei" — the power of minus is very attractive. This is the basis of the appeal of television and video which are thus obviously as forbidden to women as to men, since they lead to minus.
Many husbands make a serious error in thinking that these prohibitions pertain only to men, and not women or girls. Many people make the mistake of thinking that there is a some difference between men and women on this matter. We are not speaking about a time-related mitzvah, from which women are exempted, but of a negative prohibition of the strictest kind, that of, "You shall not stray after your hearts and after your eyes" (Bamidbar 15:39) — and the eyes are the agents of sin.
Included in this prohibition are indecent newspapers, with their indecent pictures and stories, as well as the pictures which appear on the wrappings of certain items which we purchase in stores. [In our times, even publications and journals that are thought of as respectable, permit themselves to publish sensational stories of famous crimes that are absolutely forbidden to be read by men and women alike.]
Women are not permitted to read indecent literature, even indirectly, and must be careful not to purchase clothing or items which bear indecent advertisements. Due to our many sins, the enemy has entered our camp from outside, or perhaps even from inside, in the form of certain merchants even in Bnei Brak who sell all sorts of items with wrappings which have indecent pictures which incite one to commit various sins.
A wide abyss separates our sacred camp and the secular camp. Chareidi youth and secular youth can both testify to the vast difference between the camp of kedusha and the camp that wishes to destroy all that is holy.
In Chapter Two of Hilchos Avoda Zorah, Rambam writes that the Torah's prohibition against idol worship does not refer only to thoughts of actual idol worship, but also to its similar thoughts. He says this is derived from the posuk: Al tifnu el ho'elilim. He writes: "One is not only forbidden to think idolatrous thoughts, but we must not allow ourselves any thought that causes a person to uproot a principle of the Torah."
And if anyone has even the slightest doubt about the ability of such thoughts as we have mentioned to uproot even one Torah principle, he should know that they uproot all of the foundations of the Torah — foundations without which a person could not even begin to build a loyal house in Israel
One of our liturgical poets has already said: "And what good are all her acquisitions, if she is bad in the eyes of her master?" What good has the neshomoh achieved with all of its acquisitions — even its spiritual ones — if in the eyes of Hashem, the Master of the Universe, it is flawed?
I want to direct these words toward the daughters of Israel, the pure daughters of Israel. I want to tell them: what can all the spiritual attainments of a person avail him, if one is flawed in the eyes of Hashem and if he forgets the main program of Knesses Yisroel, that Hashem presented to us as a prelude to the Giving of the Torah, in the form of the words, "And you shall be a kingdom of priests and a holy Nation" (Shemos 19:7)?
This is the preface to the giving of the Torah. When this program is not guarded and preserved, all of one's spiritual acquisitions, such as mitzvos, prayer and dedication to Torah study, cannot avail him.
The purpose of the Torah is also expressed in the verse that follows the Ten Commandments: "So that the fear of Me shall be on your faces" (Shemos 20:18) — which means: so that you will have yiras Shomayim and not sin.
Chazal say: "Which form of yir'a is apparent on a person's face? Shame" — the quality of shame which characterizes the Jewish son, the Jewish daughter.
The idea, "You shall be a kingdom of priests and a holy Nation" is repeated a number of times in the Torah, in various forms, such as in the verses, "You shall sanctify yourselves and you shall be holy" (Vayikra 11:45) or "You shall be holy to your G-d" (Vayikra 19:2).
The theme of sanctity — kedushah — appears three times in the Torah: once in reference to the sanctity of the Jewish home, another time in reference to forbidden foods, and once more in reference to our beliefs and to the faith we instill in the members of our homes. But these descriptions can only be applied to our people if they conduct themselves in a holy manner; only if they behave in a sanctified manner. Sanctity in the Jewish home can only be achieved if one strengthens the quality of shame which brings about yiras Shomayim.
From all this we may conclude that we must concentrate on strengthening the Jewish home, the Torah observant home, the Torah observant mother, and the education of our daughters.
The first thing we must realize is that it is impossible to conduct a Jewish home on the banks of purity and sanctity, if the mother of the home is not particular about modest dress. If she is not careful in this area, she harms her husband and her children, and causes others — inside and outside her home — to sin.
Chazal have clearly indicated that meriting sons who are talmidei chachomim and yirei Shomayim, is dependent mainly on the mother of the home. Shlomo Hamelech says, "Listen my son to the ethics of your father, and do not forsake the Torah of your mother" (Mishlei 1:8). Shlomo, who had ruach hakodesh, pins the success of the son on his mother.
The success of one's sons in Torah is dependent on the mother's behavior — on her not placing undue emphasis on makeup, and on her not using eye makeup. According to Chazal, one of the reasons that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed was that "the daughters of Zion ...walk[ed] with stretched-forth necks and wanton eyes [mesakrot einayim]" (Yeshayahu 3:16). The women went outside haughtily, and used a red colored makeup called sikra on their eyes (Midrash Rabbah, Metzoro).
Women must also be careful about their head coverings, and should speak as little as possible with men, because this results in many stumbling blocks, which cannot be discussed in public.
We must stress still another important point tonight, and must ask the girls of our city, especially those from various seminaries, not to walk outside in groups, because in that way they fill the street from edge to edge, and cause a number of stumbling blocks. Instead, they should walk modestly, in a way which suits Jewish daughters, close to the houses. Girls should try not to walk out at night, and should never stay out late at night!
From my experience of more than fifty years at the public helm, I know how important it is for parents and husbands to be very careful about where their daughters and wives work. One must make sure that there are no irreligious or indecent people in such places, and that the other women who work there are G-d fearing.
From my vast experience, I can say for certain that most of the stumbling blocks in our circles are caused by working in unsuitable places. One must also investigate who sponsors extracurricular classes his daughters take and who else attends them.
An Insight of Dovid Hamelech
Before I finish, I wish to conclude with some words of Chazal, which greatly praise the Jewish daughter, the Jewish mother.
When Dovid Hamelech brought the holy ark to Yerushalaim, and Michal, the daughter of Shaul, saw her husband dancing and leaping in Hashem's honor, she said: "How honorable today is the King of Israel, who has uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovers himself" (Shmuel Beis 6:20). She slashed him with a sharp tongue, which can plummet a person to the abyss. "How honorable is the day when someone as great as the King of Israel disgraces himself by dancing in honor of Hashem, and leaping before the women — the mothers — as if he were one of the vain fellows of the Nation," she said.
But Dovid Hamelech replied: "Listen, dear queen. I want to lower myself even more for Hashem's honor. You said that I disgraced and shamed the honor of the royal house, in the eyes of the `the mothers,' the maids.`But with the handmaidens [amahotD>] of whom you have spoken shall I be honored" (Shmuel Beis 6:22)
— with such mothers, I shall receive honor. They are not merely mothers. They are Yiddishe mammas," he said. They are not maids. They are Jewish mothers.
Dovid Hamelech, one of the Seven Shepherds, one of the greatest prophets, and one of the greatest ovdei Hashem of the Jewish Nation — he who would "rise up at midnight, in order to thank Hashem for [His] righteous ordinances" (Tehillim 119: 62) — said, with <88>ruach hakodesh: "With the handmaidens shall I be honored."
Chazal say something remarkable. They teach that Dovid said: "If only my portion in the World to Come will be with the Jewish mother."
Dovid Hamelech, the most exalted of men — yedid Hashem — felt that the Jewish mother represented the loftiest level one could reach, and that she would receive the highest possible reward in the World to Come.
He asked Hashem: "Let me be honored with them." Let me receive my share in the World to Come with the Jewish mother.
Therefore, Jewish mothers and daughters, preserve the precious treasure which was given to you (or which will be given to you in the future) — the Torah observant home. Preserve the sanctity of the generations. Guard your property forever.
"Our oxen are well laden, with no breach and no going forth, and no outcry in our broad places" (Tehillim 144:14) Be on your guard, so that no Jewish child will go astray.
On this merit, and on the merit of your guarding your most priceless possession — the chareidi home, the chareidi husband, the chareidi son and daughter, the ben Torah, the bas Yisroel — may we merit to maintain legions of soldiers to Hashem, who will march out with you, with us, to greet the Moshiach, quickly in our times, and with great mercy.
