Maran Rabbi Yisroel of Salant told the Alter of Slobodke that raising the spirit of the beaten down and depressed is not something that everyone can do. But with good will and with empathy, with love for the student who is struggling, by loving him, by taking part in his happiness, one can raise the spirit and revive the spirit of those who need it.
I remember, when I learned in yeshiva, that was an older bochur in Ponovezh, Rabbi Simchah Berger, and he had a very good heart. He used to tackle the most difficult bochurim. I cannot tell over the details of the story, but he knew how to deal with it. I know that one time a bochur reached a very difficult situation, but he knew how to help him, with a special love.
Even though he was himself a bochur, he knew how to help. Not everyone has the talent to listen to such bochurim, to enter into their worlds. This is a very exalted calling. One who can do it is very praiseworthy.
If one loves a bochur, it helps him. One should love a bochur, live with him, rejoice with him. If someone can help people and give them joy in life, it is a great thing. Not everyone can do it. Some more and some less.
I will tell a personal story that happened to me with HaRav Dessler zt"l with regard to honoring everyone. He used to learn privately with bochurim and I was one of those. How he was mechabed every one! Once I told him that I had seen a certain idea. Right away he took out a pen and began to write it down. I said that I had seen it in some sefer, but I was embarrassed to continue. He said, "Tell me." He had a natural humility so that he was open to hear everything. I was astounded at how great his heart was and how open his ears were to ideas.
I will tell another story that seems to me to be very mechudash. Once he got a letter from London from HaRav Moshe Schneider zt"l who was a very wise man. HaRav Schneider wrote that it is well known that the Chofetz Chaim said that the rabbonim should have fought against the Communists in Russia and he regretted not doing so. HaRav Schneider asked HaRav Dessler why the rabbonim of Eretz Yisroel to not wage war against those who undermine religion. Why not? What is the hetter?
He read me the letter and then asked me, "What should we answer?" It was not a game. I was very embarrassed. The kovod he had for everyone was special. It was sincere and truthful. One could see that he was a great person, and that is why he had such influence.
