The gemara in Yevomos discusses the subject of the mourning practiced between Pesach and Shavuos. "Twelve thousand pairs of Rabbi Akiva's disciples, from Gevat to Antipatras, all died during one period because they did not show respect for one another."
Rabbi Yehoshua says that this is composed of two issues, the one, that they lacked due respect for the Torah, as the Maharsha notes there, that they did not feel respect for the Torah of their fellow talmid. But there is another aspect: they lacked due respect for their fellow talmid himself.
This can be explained as follows: a person incorporates two powers, a positive one and a negative one. The positive one is the power of respecting and recognizing the good in his fellow man and to identify what the latter can contribute to him. The negative power is one of dismissing him, downgrading him.
A person must always promote the positive aspect by honoring the other and not, ch'vsh, belittling or mocking him. Therefore, when two sit together and talk in learning, with each one attentive to what the other says, it shows that they are using their positive strengths in mutual respect, showing that each one admits that the other has something to contribute to him.
This was what was missing in those talmidim's lack of mutual recognition with regards to the honor of Torah.
This, indeed, is the meaning behind the idea of the word `chaver' friend, from the root of joining, of a connection between them. The power of linking together is expressed through Torah, which is the foundation of the saying: Invest in a friend.
One needs a friend to supplement him, to parry with him, for this is one of the underlying things which add to the construction of study, that is, the power of a friend/partner, and also one of the forty-eight things by which Torah is acquired.
In addition, the power of connection can also find expression in building up a person's character. A person needs a friend who will direct him through wise counsel in knowing what is best for him in any given situation.
Actually, in many circumstances, a person will simply not be able to sense a shortcoming in what he is doing, while the friend who is guiding him will be able to see the truth.
"He said to them: go forth and see which is the good path for a person to follow. Rabbi Yehoshua says: A good friend." A friend builds a person up through good advice and grants him the power of improvement.
A bad friend is the opposite; he contradicts the other one's character by building up the negative power within his friend through belittling good things and mocking them in every way. This was the fault of not respecting one another in upholding the other one's honor and integrity.
In these days, the world media as a whole is depraved and cheap, built on faulting, hate-mongering and mockery, downgrading everything while ballooning every stupid thing in the world. This is the underpinning of all the websites and so-called news groups. These consolidate all the negative powers of a person.
This is, in fact, the essence of all the media in the world at large which makes a person feel that if he is not connected each moment to his peer, he is at a loss. Such a person has no inner structure and no access to building up his own character since he needs to be connected to everything out there at any given moment to continue wallowing in the world's inanities.
What is lacking in reality is having a good friend who can benefit the other and build him up. This, then, is what is needed to mend in this period of Sefirah; it is what was lacking in the concept of a good friend.
With your permission, I wish to explain the concept of man being created in the image of Hashem. The Nefesh HaChaim explains that man was created so that each act of his affects the entire world.
There are two name-attributes in which Hashem manifests Himself in this world: Adnus, which means that He is the master of the entire world. He created everything which is conducted per His will. Then there is the name-attribute of Elokim, meaning, powerful and encompassing all of the powers in the world.
When it is written that man was created in G-d's image, it does not use the term Adnus but Elokus. This means that just as Hashem is A-mighty and activates everything that happens in the world, similarly was man given the power to affect the entire world. This is the meaning behind `the image of Elokim.'
Since Hashem created man in this manner and with this power, this is the reality which also creates all of the responsibilities one has towards his fellow man. One must surely respect the other and see in that the Divine image.
This is shown in the fact that "thou shalt not murder" is parallel to "I am Hashem your Elokim", indicating that one who is capable of murder is also, as it were, able to destroy the image of Hashem within Creation.
