I've been feeling a bit despondent contemplating this year's
New Year's resolutions. And it isn't just because there are
so many that I can just cut-and-paste on this year's list
from last year. It's because, in many areas, this year's
resolutions are just to return to the status quo of ten years
ago before that year's resolutions.
In other words, what I wanted to change a decade ago, I would
love to have now. Admittedly these are mostly in superficial
areas. Now, my goal weight is to weigh what I weighed when I
was trying to lose weight ten years ago. Or I'm trying to
look as young as I did ten years ago when I was lamenting my
first [albeit hidden] gray hairs and wrinkles. And well,
we'll just ignore my budget. It ignores me.
It's only fair.
True, in the truly meaningful areas of my life, there has
been a great deal of progress. And for that, Boruch
Hashem. And in the areas where there hasn't been
progress, there's hope.
A new year! A year to focus on what blessings there are, and
not on what we perceive to be lacking; on doing what Hashem
wants us to do where He puts us and not where we think we
know we should be; and another year to make another effort to
push beyond the limits of our preconceived notions and
imaginations, and experiment with efforts which contemplation
has hitherto daunted us.
King Solomon said that for every age there is a season and
a reason. The wisest of all men knew the wisdom of using
every time in one's life for what it is inherently best for
and not trying to live in the past or the future, real or
imagined.
Ever think about modals? Not if you're a native English
speaker and not an English teacher. But it is the onerous
task of every ESL (English as a Second Language) and EFL
(English as a Foreign Language) teacher to teach the
difference between: must, mustn't, don't have to, should,
can, could and may.
English speakers use them correctly without much forethought
but for people to whom English is Greek, you must explain the
difference between should (good idea but not compulsory) and
must (absolutely necessary); can (are able to) and may
(possible/permissible).
Perhaps when we make our new year's resolutions this year, we
should categorize them accordingly, proper to our age
and season, and for the reasons we believe we are here. We
don't always have to do everything we should
and can do but maybe we could stretch ourselves
a bit in areas where we may be able to put in a little
more effort; now wouldn't that be nice?
We also need to be able to recognize and chalk up a few of
last year's accomplishments as well, whether or not they were
on our list to begin with.
May we be fruitful in all our endeavors and remember that we
should be forgiving with ourselves because Hashem has a whole
different list for us than we do.
Shonah tovah umevoreches!
