Dei'ah veDibur - Information & Insight

A Window into the Chareidi World

4 Nissan 5765 - April 13, 2005 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly









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Shema Yisrael Torah Network
Shema Yisrael Torah Network











Home and Family

Singing Hearts
By Shira Levy

I have a song in my heart today!

I wish I had it ten years ago as well. Ten years is a long time. Why did it take me so long?

My husband said something so sweet today. "We'll buy kitchen cupboards for you when we get that money next month."

I then reminded him about the cost of our son's orthodontic work. He sighed.

And I've gone around the whole day with a song in my heart. He wanted me to have cupboards instead of shelves. Knowing that he would gladly spend the money on something that is important to me, even though its not important to him and even though he'd much rather spend the money on the many seforim he yearns to own - that's what put the song there!

Ten years ago, when he told me that he'd buy me a new closet to replace our broken, second-hand, ugly one, I was not understanding when we didn't have enough money. Then I felt deprived. Hurt. He hadn't kept his promise.

It's a pity that I didn't see then what I see now, today. Now I see his desire to give, even in this day and age when there is so little income. Now I see his hopes that I should be happy.

Because really what we get and what we have comes from Hashem. I still remember when I desperately needed shoes for two of my children but didn't have any money at all. What to do? Pray, of course! So I prayed for shoes. The next day, a neighbor knocked on the door with a large bag dragging behind her. "Maybe you could use something from in here? I was cleaning out my closets... "

There were two pairs of shoes that fit my children perfectly - - this really happened! I didn't pray for money and I didn't get any. I just got what I needed. And the truth is, that's always true even though we feel we're lacking, even when we're not lucky enough to see the puzzles fit together like I did that time.

The real problem is changing our feelings, our views of what we need.

Ten years ago he didn't say he was sorry when the new closet didn't materialize. Or that he wished so much that we could afford all the things I wanted. Or that he felt bad for not earning enough money. But even though he didn't say all those things this time either, this time I heard them anyway.

I may not get kitchen cupboards but I'm happy.


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