You know how much we love and adore our grandchildren! And
how grateful we are to HaShem for giving us the privilege of
being able to see them and to be able to spend time with
them.
And their parents! How appreciative we are that our children
are happily married to such wonderful spouses! And that our
children were able to have children of their own, and are
raising them so beautifully. We have truly been blessed by
HaShem.
So I write this "Open Letter to My Dear Children" because
there is no greater happiness in the world than getting a
chance to see you and spend some time with you. After all, we
did raise you. And the blessing of having such grandchildren -
- words can't convey our happiness, gratitude, and joy.
When you need someone to watch your children "just for a
little while," we are grateful that we live close enough to
you to be able to do so. And we are happy to be able to help
you, as well as pleased for the opportunity to be able to do
so.
And, yes, of course we are eternally grateful to HaShem that
we are still able and capable of doing these things!
But, dear children, you do know that we are not getting any
younger. And, therefore, perhaps a few pointers can help you
understand what is involved from our point of view at this
stage in our lives.
1. Though I know that it is not always possible, if you wish
to leave the grandchildren with us, please try to let us know
a day or two in advance if you can. Though of course we love
babysitting the grandchildren, and we are thrilled to be able
to help you out whenever you need us, it is a little
unsettling to be called at 10:30 at night and asked if it's
okay to bring over the kids the next morning. We hate saying
"no," and don't like when you hear us pause and you therefore
respond, "Okay, never mind. I'll find some other option."
Though we always want to be there for you, at our age it
takes a little time for us to weigh the possibilities of
canceling our next day's plans, especially after nine o'clock
at night.
2. When you leave the children with us, try to give an
approximate time when you expect to return. If we both forget
to say and/or ask, perhaps you could try calling or hurrying
back after 2-3 hours. At our age, that is a long, long time
to be lively and cheerful and running back and forth to the
potty asking, "Do you need to . . .?" etc.
3. When you come by to pick up the children — or the
food that we've made for you so that you shouldn't have to
cook dinner that night — if it is at all possible,
please try to find the time to sit down and visit with us for
10 or 15 minutes. It gives us so much pleasure being able to
spend those few minutes with you — and it takes away
that unpleasant feeling that we sometimes get when you just
run in, get what you came for, and then run out, which
sometimes can make us feel like we are simply a baby-sitting
service, or a take-out restaurant.
4. When you are at our house with your children, and you
suddenly realize that we need to feed them supper/dinner,
please try to remember that we haven't had a houseful of
little kids running all around the house, for quite a few
years now. So, please, at least try to get the children to
eat over their plates, and not while walking all around the
house. And don't be peeved if I don't have enough cucumbers
or bananas to go around. I get tired sometimes of buying so
many each week, and then throwing them out when you all don't
come over.
5. Please do try to put away at least a few of the toys and
books the children have scattered around the house. And if
you can't finish the job, at least mention that you're sorry -
- it's nice to feel that you notice that I will have to do
it.
6. On your way out, please try not to forget to take out the
garbage with you, especially if it includes your baby's dirty
diapers. Ditto for removing the dirty diaper and baby wipes
when you leave the room after changing the baby — it's
a little disconcerting to walk into the room hours after
you've left, and see (and smell) a balled up dirty diaper on
the bed or floor.
7. When we buy you clothes for your children, please try to
tell us right away if you don't want or like them. And, if
you do like the clothes we've bought, please try them on the
children within a day or two. It is extremely irritating to
spend money on an outfit for your child, only to find out two
weeks later that it doesn't fit. We'd much rather know
immediately, so we can plan our schedules and return and/or
exchange it without the pressure of having to do it right
away.
[If you have become sensitized by these pointers, we are sure
you will be generally more careful and appreciative of your
parents/in-laws efforts to please you.]
