"There was once a miser..."
For some reason, the concept "miser" arouses negative
associations in our mind of tightfistedness, of someone who
is stingy, selfish and mean and doesn't want to give. A
person whose money is dearer to him than everything else.
Is stinginess really that negative and terrible as all that?
If we check this out, we'll realize that one type of
stinginess is unlike another, just as one type of miser is
different from another. Every case of miserliness has its
reasons, and every miser has his restrictions. Most people
would be surprised to know that even miserliness has its
positive aspects, some of which will even bring a smile to
our lips.
Here are some examples of stinginess:
* Every Erev Pesach Tirza considers what she should keep,
give away or throw out. Somehow, she always reaches the same
decision: that it would be a pity to get rid of this, that
or the other. After all, maybe she'll need these things one
day. Her pile of shmonses grows year after year.
* To this very day, it is difficult for R' Benzion to take a
cab. It seems such a waste to him, and every jump of the
meter makes his blood pressure jump as well.
* Miriam's children already know that if they don't finish
the crust on the bread, she will keep it for them in a
plastic bag until the next meal. [Daughter of a Holocaust
survivor?]
* The Levi family, whose financial situation leaves much to
be desired, saves money on bus rides. They hitch/mooch rides
with people they know and figure out when it's cheaper to
take a cab with several other people together. But for some
reason, the children get a hefty allowance.
* The sherut driver needed another person to complete
the `minyan' occupancy of passengers for his Bnei
Brak - Jerusalem route. He drove around town for half an
hour, wasting precious time, gas and energy so as not to
lose a few shekels.
* Mrs. Cohen will travel to the city in order to save a few
shekels on shopping, without taking into account the fare,
the price of babysitting, the time and the effort.
Thrift Concerning Money
Thriftiness can imply different forms of miserliness or it
can be a positive trait where a person is careful not to
waste money. As we know, one of the thirteen worthy
attributes of R' Yisroel Salanter is "thrift means not
spending even a penny unless it is necessary." The question
is how do we interpret the term `necessary'? This changes
according to individuals and from one home to another. There
is a positive thriftiness which derives from properly
assessing the situation and acting accordingly. When a
family with limited means counts every penny and refrains
from spending unless it's absolutely essential, this is
considered logical and necessary.
FOR EXAMPLE: Limits on phone conversations -- there is no
need to call up a friend who lives in the same building. Or
saving on cleaning agents: it's important to discern between
the main products and the superfluous, to buy less expensive
items which can do the job just as well. And to know when
buying in bulk is counterproductive, either because the
savings is negligible, or because it encourages overgenerous
usage.
Most homemakers check prices, compare and weigh the
advantages before they buy. They know which companies give
more for less. One mother blessed with a large family told
her children that all the special sales are for the benefit
of the producer and not the consumer. There is no reason to
buy more just because there is a special sales bonus being
offered. However, if it is a product they use anyway, she'll
give in to the children's request and choose one brand over
another, if they offer something special -- on condition
that it's reasonably priced.
Stinginess in an Era of Plenty
In our times, commercials enter our houses very aggressively
and if we even refuse to listen to them, our mailboxes are
stuffed full of ad sheets and pamphlets announcing various
sales. Enticing offers are constantly beckoning to us and
create, whether we like it or not, an atmosphere of supply
and demand, way beyond our real needs. Sometimes, it seems
as if turning down these offers is a real sign of
miserliness, but if we check these offers objectively, we
get a much different picture.
If in the past a person bought only necessary items, today
he practically has to be an accountant in order to figure
out whether it's worth buying certain products.
A friend of ours gave an example of this type of buying in a
consumer society. Her husband bought an industrial machine
for his business and received as gifts, a very special watch
and an unusually beautiful key holder, which were given
exclusively to the buyers of this machine. The gifts
attracted a lot of attention in a manner totally
disproportionate to their real worth while the machine itelf
was hardly noticed. My friend used to joke about it to
everyone, "We bought a watch and key holder, and as a gift,
we received this machine."
In a consumer society, the tendency to save is looked down
upon. For instance, some people will wash disposable dishes,
which are often attractive and rather sturdy (and not that
inexpensive, either), yet there are those who will ridicule
them for being stingy. One woman who used to rinse and dry
plastic boxes from different products and reuse them to
store other foodstuffs, was treated to raised eyebrows from
others because of it. No one thought for a moment that this
was her way of saving and being practical. By the way, the
real source for this type of `savings' is in the command of
baal tashchis, not to destroy wantonly.
Different Types of Stinginess
Every type of stinginess has a different reason behind it,
such as a certain fear. A healthy type of thrift, for
example, is when parents save from their income and put
aside a certain sum for their children's future. On the
other hand, an unhealthy type of stinginess is when the
person tries to save in every type of situation possible in
preparation for difficult days ahead or for his old age.
Some people hoard their money and are incapable of spending
even part of it lest they suddenly become poor. All this, in
spite of the fact that experience shows that afterwards, all
this money is usually left behind intact and passed on to
the heirs. How this jibes with the Jewish values of emuna
ubitachon, faith and trust, is a question in itself. As
one of our Gedolei Yisroel said so succinctly,
"Everyone is saving for the future, planning for it and
thinking about. I can't wait to see what this future is all
about..."
Another type of miserliness is rooted in self deprivation: a
person is convinced that every expense is superfluous. He
wants to prove that he, and he alone, is the only one
controlling his money. Anyone else's request that he buy a
certain item or give to a certain cause meets with a
negative response since he feels they are trying to usurp
his control.
To be continued...
[Meanwhile, we would love to begin a column on thrift. How
about "The Thrift Cutting-Corner -- Ideas on Saving Money in
Everyday Life." The little things that count and add up, and
we are sure every household has their pet ones.]
