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BOOK REVIEW
Mirrors of Our Lives

by Rebbetzin Holly Pavlov

Targum/Feldheim, 265 pages

Remember "Our Lives," a book written for women, by women?

"Mirrors of Our Lives -- Reflections of Women in Tanach" is also a book for women, by a woman, Rebbetzin Holly Pavlov, but is the furthest thing from fiction. Inspiring, certainly. Thought provoking, exceptionally. But firmly anchored in chumash, midrash, meforshim, with insights into what speaks to the Jewish feminine psyche due to years of educating young women, primarily baalos tshuva in the She'arim College of Jewish Studies for Women in Jerusalem (located in Har Nof). Nothing `spacey' about this book!

"The wisdom of Sarah... the silence of Rachel... Leah's gratitude..." reads the jacket flap. "Rivkah's insight. The lives of the matriarchs, the remarkable women who helped form the Jewish people, have long provided us with inspiration and guidance in our own lives." And Reb. Pavlov goes on to plug us in to these vital sources. And very skillfully, step by logical step, creating a whole picture through meticulous sequence, based on the text, that climaxes in a beautiful tapestry of Torah- concept construction.

Since the name might not be familiar to all the readers, Rebbetzin Pavlov and her credentials are solid, with a letter of approbation from Rabbi Chaim Pinchos Sheinberg. In his words, "The guidance provided by these Torah ideas will not only elevate and strengthen the reader; they will give practical tools that can be utilized in everyday life." Yated columnist, Rabbi Zev Leff, quotes as being "very impressed with the caliber of the Torah ideas it [the book] contains... deep and intellectually stimulating ideas and concepts that are brought down to the practical level to guide one's day-to- day living."

In her own introductory words, "I discovered that sometimes the questions mattered more than the answers, because the search for truth reveals that the lessons in life are endless, and a person's potential is unlimited.

"...much of what we need to know can be grasped by looking to our Matriarchs, whose experiences, personalities and struggles reflect our own. Their voices continue to ring out with strength and wisdom and their examples serve as channels through which Divine wisdom is revealed to us... It is through this mirror that we can see reflections of our own hopes and dreams, our fears and frustrations. Through this mirror, we see ourselves as Jews and as women..."

This is not a review, but a sampling of a fascinating study. Perhaps it is good that space only allows a taste, and that we must suffice with excerpting a beautiful chef d'oevre. All the more reason for the reader to seek out the original to savor this book to the fullest.

We have chosen a piece on Rosh Hashona [abbreviated, far from completed], with which the book begins.

"AND G-D REMEMBERED SARAH"

We live in a world where we think that seeing is believing. In truth, however, human beings see only a partial, external reality, and the depth of our insight is limited. Only G-d can see the entire and unbiased truth, both externally and internally. In addition, G-d confines our understanding of reality, allowing us to see only that which He wants us to see. Most of us, however, believe in our judgments, unconscious of the fact that they are based on incomplete vision.

This becomes apparent on Rosh Hashana [when] we approach G-d in humility and repentance, no longer so sure that we have seen everything 100 percent clearly and aware that we have made errors...

On the first day of Rosh Hashona, we read about the banishment of Yishmael from the home of Avraham and his subsequent repentance. On the second day, we read about Yitzchak bound at the altar. The purpose of these readings is to draw us closer to G-d at this critical time so it is curious that the first day's reading is about an outcast from the Jewish people while we wait until the second day to read about our Patriarch Yitzchak. Why did the Rabbis choose the Yishmael reading for the Day of Remembrance?

What is the connection between a "bad boy" who is told to leave home and the Jewish people?

This essay goes on to explore the sequence of the birth of Yitzchak, the confrontation between Sarah and Avraham concerning sending away Yishmael, and the subsequent suffering of Yishmael in the desert.

DEPOSITS

Sarah was given a special gift. We might ask, however, is not every pregnancy a special gift, especially one after so many years of infertility? In order to understand why the Torah implies that this particular pregnancy was special, we must interpret the Hebrew word for remember. Our text uses the word pakad... not the more commonly used zachar. Why? The Midrash explains...

"Hashem said: `I am the keeper of deposits (pikadon). Amalek deposited (pakad) bundles of brambles in My care and I... returned to him bundles of brambles, as it says: I remember what Amalek did to Israel' (Shmuel I 15:2). Sarah deposited mitzvos and good deeds in My care. I returned to her mitzvos and good deeds, as it says: G-d had remembered (pakad) Sarah."

The Midrash explains that G-d is the Master of Deposits, the caretaker of deeds. He collects things and takes care of them. Two examples demonstrate this. The first one involves Amalek and bundles of brambles. What are these?

"Amalek came and battled Israel in Refidim" (Shemos 17:8).

Amalek attacked Klal Yisrael in the desert, after the nation left Egypt and after the splitting of the Sea of Reeds. G-d took this deed and, in a manner of speaking, deposited it. Hundreds of years later, in the time of King Shaul, G-d said: "I remember what Amalek did. It's in the bank. I'm going to give Amalek what they deserve..."

In the second example given by the Midrash, G-d had on deposit Sarah's mitzvos... an accumulation of ninety years of her life. When the Torah tells us that "G-d had remembered Sarah," we can understand that at this point G-d made the decision to take that deposit "out of the bank" and return it to her...

When a person does a mitzvah, such as an act of kindness, this deed "belongs" to him. G-d is the Bank Manager and He puts the deed in the person's bank account. G-d guarantees that the act of kindness will be returned, but only when G-d deems it to be the right time. The difference between G-d's banking and human banking is that in a financial bank, a person can go and withdraw his holdings when he chooses. In G- d's bank, the choice of when and how the deposit is returned is up to Him.

This is why the Torah used the word `pakad,' which connotes repayment of deposits, righteous or evil deeds, at a time and in a way that G-d decides. Nothing slips G-d's `mind'... G-d had been accumulating deposits for Sarah, and the time had come to activate the process of withdrawing Sarah's holdings... in the form of the blessing of a child.

THE DAY OF JUDGMENT

G-d remembered Sarah on the Day of Remembrance... thus, the returning of her deposit occurred on Rosh Hashana.

On Rosh Hashana, G-d sits in His heavenly court and judges people. We read this chapter on Rosh Hashanah to remind ourselves that the idea of deposit is connected to judgment. G-d's judgment is based on "you get what you gave," measure for measure. You deposit transgressions, you get back transgressions. G-d the Bank Manager returns to us our deposits. However, despite the fact that we know G-d judges us on Rosh Hashana, we aren't always aware of the connection between our deeds and what happens to us. Unlike the earthly bank account, where a person who deposits dollars gets back dollars, in G-d's bank, we deposit good deeds and get back... perhaps a baby.

Another difference between a financial bank and the Bank of G- d is timing. We can go to the bank to withdraw our deposit whenever we so desire; the timing is up to us. When G-d returns our deposit, however, the timing is not in our control; it is up to him. We may not even be aware that the withdrawal is happening. We might find out retroactively...

This thread is again picked up later in this essay when it discusses Yishmael's judgment, the bad deeds he had on deposit, and his merciful treatment, notwitstanding:

G-d makes His judgment based not on human logic but on Divine judgment, which includes Yishmael's situation at that moment, his depth of prayer and his sincere repentance. G-d's judgment is based on the internal, invisible, intimate knowledge of a person to which we humans have no access.

(We have purposely left many gaps, questions unanswered, so as to whet the reader's appetite. "Mirrors of Our Lives" also makes excellent reading for the upcoming parshiyos of Bereishis -- and for reflection at all times.)

 

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