One reader from the North has this to share with
us:
I had a really neat experience. Every year after we
moved to Israel, relatives sent us $200 to help
with Pesach expenses. One year, they realized that
we weren't moving back to the States and were so
upset that they stopped sending their help.
Precisely that Pesach, friends we hadn't seen for
over two years decided to send us $200 to help us
out. They had never sent us money before and the
sum was exactly the same!
And another story: my husband works hard as a
pharmacist - some forty hours a week. His only
afternoon off is Wednesdays when he fixes things
around the house [and with two hyper children,
among the others, there's plenty to fix], do
errands in town and, if I pressure him enough, will
lie down for a quickie nap to catch up on much
overdo sleep. At one time, all pharmacists were
offered a course to attend every Wednesday
afternoon for two years to get a pay increase. I
was against it. Money comes from Hashem, not from
Afula, no foolin', or from courses, of course. It
was too much traveling, too much studying and he
needed that afternoon just to unwind.
It was not long after that we got involved in the
receiving end of a grandchild support program where
a relative in the States could help us financially
and deduct the money from income tax returns. So we
got our raise without sacrificing the free
afternoon! I knew things would work out!
*
And another story from a Gemach, that
wonderful place where Hashgocha Protis shines down
upon a neverending cycle of chessed. If I
hadn't been there myself, I wouldn't have believed
it. I almost still don't, but there are
other witnesses...
A good woman in our neighborhood gives up 1-2
mornings a week to pick up a blind lady at the
other end of town and take her around to do the
things that have to be done in town. One of her
stops that Tuesday morning was at our clothing
gemach. Devora [alias] needed some clothing.
This was an event at the place, involving all the
volunteers and the customers, since Devora had a
particular taste and wanted her clothing color-
coordinated, even though SHE couldn't see them. But
she got lots of compliments from friends on what
she wore and she was a walking advertisement of our
gemach! Besides, we were all vying for her
plentiful blessings.
So work stopped as she shopped: a skirt ample
enough, a pair of warm boots, headgear. Then we
came to a warm sweater. "Not too thin; something to
wear outside on a cool day, but not too bulky or
heavy." Devora liked to feel comfortable, too. As
one volunteer draped a lovely sweater-jacket around
her shoulders, Devora put out a hand. She felt the
sweater the volunteer was wearing and said, "THIS
is the kind of sweater I want. The one you gave me
is too heavy."
We were not too surprised to see the volunteer peel
off her sweater and put it on Devora. That's how it
goes by us. And what's the big loss? "Don't you
worry. I'll find another in the gemach sooner or
later. Where do you think I found this one,
anyway?" The other volunteers nodded in agreement;
most of what they were wearing had come from the
gemach at some propitious time or other.
Still, they couldn't help admiring the ease with
which the volunteer had parted with the sweater on
her back.
A week later, the same crew was working at the
gemach, hanging up coats and jackets. The
racks were jammed packed and our volunteer decided
that in order to hang up the coat she was holding,
she'd have to discard something not-as- nice. She
went through the rack when, what did she find but
THE EXACT SAME SWEATER! Same color, same design.
She couldn't believe her eyes. She took it home.
Had Devora, for some strange reason, decided to
send it back? She called up the volunteer driver
just to make sure. "She's thrilled with it," said
Bracha. "She wore it to shul on Shabbos and
her friends raved over it."
The volunteers couldn't help discussing this
extraordinary show of Hashgocha Protis. What
were the odds of the SAME sweater being at the
gemach at the very time that SHE was
looking for space - and that someone else had not
bought it yet? Infinitesmal. The volunteer,
herself, came up with a different angle. "We all
think we're working so hard here to keep this place
going. And we DO work hard. But, ladies, we're not
the ones running the show. It is Hashem. And He
sent the exact same sweater as a replacement, just
to remind us of this fact."
*
Remember the letter we printed about how a woman
discovered the reason for her son's loss of hair?
That it was a severe zinc deficiency? Well, a woman
from New York called up the writer for advice about
her 20-year-old son who was completely hairless.
She followed this clue and after x-amount of days
on zinc supplements (through a doctor), she happily
reported that he was now growing hair!
*
And FEEDBACK from M. Stern, Manchester, who
writes:
The last paragraph of the article "How to Read a
Wedding Invitation" must have struck many readers
as utterly utopian. It read:
"Waiting for the day when the dinners will be on
paper plates, one main course only, self-service
from a buffet, leftovers for sheva brochos
and at a tenth the price for the overburdened
families."
Only a few days previously, we received an appeal
from our local Hachnossas Kalla group which does
marvelous work arranging more affordable weddings,
but was in urgent need of further funds. I remarked
to my wife at the time that this problem was
insoluble so long as we continue to have these
formal dinners which are the major cost. It is
almost criminal that thousands of pounds [Sterling]
should be spent (I hate to say wasted) on a few
hours' celebration. If this money could be spent on
helping the young couple to set up home, it would
be an investment for the future, but everyone feels
obliged to follow the general custom, whatever the
cost.
Someone once said wryly that the reason Yisro had
seven names was that he had seven daughters and was
bankrupted after each wedding and had to set up
business again with a different name.
Unfortunately, with present practices, this is
hardly a joke any more.
Without radical change in the way we conduct
weddings, we are going to undermine our society.
[We would like to clarify something general to our
readership, which is that comments in brackets -
like these - are editorial, and not the
writer's.
M. Stern says it sounds utopian. Anyone who has
visited places like Kiryat Sefer and Beitar can
believe in utopia on earth. These are showcase
Torah communities without television, crime or
anything else unsavory. The parents of the young
couples living there have made it possible by
venturing beyond the bounds of Jerusalem and Bnei
Brak. It was the first step.
Maybe the time has come to tackle cheaper wedding
dinners. Perhaps his Chessed organization can come
up with an attractive presentation/brochure and
tackle a few mechutonim making weddings
simultaneously. If five prospective couples,
representing ten families who think along the same
lines, can get together and state that they have
cut out - whatever: flowers, printed invitations,
first and last course, china as opposed to paper
plates and so on - in order to provide the couple
with electrical appliances and keep the
chosson in learning, and also give a
donation to this organization, they can set a
precedent. People receiving from it can also be
required to set limits to the cost per plate, band,
photographer and so on. This presentation / ex<%-
2>planation can appear on the mimeographed
invitations or the benchers at the weddings.
The driving forces trying to sell this idea can ask
for the backing and blessing of local daas
Torah while those who cooperate can take pride
in such an act and rely on the strength in their
united front. It's an idea that if presented and
marketed well, can make the breakthrough and catch
on. Instead of social one- upmanship, we can
reverse the trend to downmanship.
Presently, the issue of apartments is being tackled
by our Torah leadership in Eretz Yisroel, with
progress. Hopefully, the weddings themselves will
also be simplified. We repeat the clarion call: Any
Nachshons?
