We were very happy to have evoked strong feelings about a
discussion on Shabbos preparations (Parshas Bechukosai). This
is one woman's reaction:
I'm flabbergasted and shocked by your article! I must have
misunderstood!
WE do not make Shabbos special. Hashem makes it special, and
graciously, `steps aside', as it were, to let us have a hand
in treating Shabbos as special. But Shabbos IS special, just
as it is, even if we don't have this or that item we like.
The woman who gave salami also gave kugel, which
is cooked. She was right to have placed the highest
priority on ending melochos on time, no matter what!
Perhaps some of your readers who are more capable
baalebustas might have been able to throw at least
something into a pot and unto the fire quickly (to be cooked
before Shabbos) to the family's benefit. But this ability is
a gift from Hashem and not everyone has received this gift.
Of course, she could try to make contingency plans, now that
she realizes how badly things can go on Fridays. But if she
did her best at the time, then why regret? And certainly not
guilt. This the weapon of the yetzer hora. In fact,
the second woman you spoke of may be constantly late
precisely because she keeps wrapping herself up in guilt and
anxiety, dreading the siren and working inefficiently as a
result.
I do think you are on the mark, generally, by saying that we
shouldn't dread the work of mitzvos.
And now to your next point: many people feel that their
tables are fit for royalty, even with paper plates and
fish cooked in a factory. And I, for one, have at times felt
awful at tables filled with fancy food but an exhausted
mother or chutzpadik children or where everyone is so
busy with the food that there is not much conversation or
Torah exchange. We need, within the parameters of Torah, to
allow for people's differences.
I just cannot equate big pots of even the tastiest food with
Shabbos. I might add that it isn't always necessary to spend
a whole day cooking. There are practical ways to deal with
this issue.
I'd like to end with a personal experience. During the Gulf
War, shortly before my wedding, I was a guest for Shabbos. On
Friday night the siren sounded just as the men came home from
shul. My friend was busy bundling the children in with all
they would require and didn't need my help. I quickly grabbed
the challos, grape juice and Kiddush cup from the
table and rushed into the sealed room. At this point, my
hosts decided not to make Kiddush right away. For my part, I
wanted to get in one last mitzva since the missiles
were headed right our way. But I had no choice in the matter.
I never understood theirs, and they never understood my
request, which I voiced. I feel that Shabbos is Shabbos, no
matter where, whether in a sealed room or a coal cellar - a
picture I've seen of a Shabbos table in America at the turn
of the century. Shabbos is always Shabbos!
Reading the article upset me and stirred up many feelings. I
would like to say that I, personally, would feel
honored to be at that woman's table and eat her
salami. True, you said that Shabbos need not be dreaded or
seen as a burden, but it's not so simple to solve the
problem.
*
TIPS
One reader sent in the following interesting tip with its
background:
I have a strange size foot, big and wide, and have trouble
finding a comfortable shoe, even if it is the right size. I
try to buy used shoes at gemachs, and this is the
eitza I use to custom-fit them:
While wearing my shoes, I pour in a half glass of water.
It'll squish a little but the body heat will soon absorb the
water and MOLD the shoe to the shape of your foot! You may
have to repeat this 2-3 times, but the result will be
heavenly. As I said, don't try this with new expensive shoes
because it just might ruin them. But it works for me.
How did I come upon this idea? Just before the Intefada, we
were taking a visitor from abroad to the Maayan Hashiloach on
Chol Hamoed Succos. I wore tight fitting shoes at the time
that I used to shed as soon as I came home. But after walking
through the water for about twenty minutes, I emerged, and
kept on walking. It took a while until it dawned on me that
my feet were feeling very comfortable, for a change. The
shoes finally fit the shape of my feet. And ever since, this
is what I have been doing!
*
Another tip from a person who specializes in tzniyus
alternations - for see-through blouses which you would like
to line in a jiffy, take an old shirt and sew the sleeves in
from the inside, or just cut to size and wear underneath...
*
Weaning your child from the baby bottle? Try this one: make a
large hole in the nipple (it probably has one at this stage)
and put in a straw. The child will have his bottle for
security, and be drinking from a straw, with less chance of
spilling! Soon he will be able to go straight to a cup.
*
I use oil and vinegar frequently in my cooking and have found
a way to save time. Instead of opening the bottle cap each
time, I take a sharp knife and puncture the top. A compass
point is really the best, if you have. This way, I can just
give a squeeze or two and enough comes out each time without
any spilling. And it is sealed enough that nothing can enter
the bottle, either. Good for vanilla extract etc.
*
YOUR EDITOR is still interested in material, even
handwritten. Sorry, but we generally do not accept children's
poetry etc.
ADVERTISING EXCHANGE: If you have expertise in any area and
perform some kind of service, we would be happy to print your
articles in exchange for ADVERTISING! Do you give courses in
any subject in which you are proficient? Counselling?
Catering in exchange for a cooking column?
Mail to: Weinbach at Panim Meirot 1, Jerusalem, 94423 or FAX
02-538-7998. Call: 02-537-2303.
